Man Dies From Weed, Almost

Cannabis, marijuana, hemp, ganja: whatever you want to call it, this plant has many names as well as many healing properties. It’s use dates back to ancient times and it is one of the safest substances on earth claiming a total of zero reported deaths in reported history! Until now… Almost.

A Canadian man was discovered unconscious in the Detroit river by border patrol late Friday evening tethered to 265 lbs of weed with a tow strap. The Detroit Free Press reports the incident as a “capture” rather than a rescue which is fitting considering the man currently sits in federal prison awaiting trial.

According to reports this incident may be connected with a May 10th shakedown by border patrol where a Canadian man was stopped in a U-haul and robbed of the $97k he had in his possession at the time. Police then interrogated him until he told authorities that he had used a submersible to deliver cannabis between Michigan and Ontario.

The man is currently being held captive by border patrol police and they will not accept a ransom. He is scheduled to stand in front of a judge on Tuesday where his fate will be determined.